Penelope Overton

A to Z of Life Coaching #4

U is for unpick. Yes, on one level following on from the Sewing Bee theme, it's about the ready-and-willingness to unpick a seam, a hem, a wonky line of top stitching, important if you want to make anything of quality. Unpicking in life, though, is what I’m thinking about. The willingness to go back to a situation, consider the motivations, the intentions; what did you feel, what needs did you have, met and unmet; what went on for the other person? The willingness, sometimes, to return to the person affected and say, when you [...]

2021-09-13T15:08:24+01:0013 September 2021|A to Z of Life Coaching, nonviolent communication, question, unpick, verge, why, xenophobia, zebra|Comments Off on A to Z of Life Coaching #4
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How to talk to difficult people No 3

I wrote some blogs a few weeks back on how to talk to the difficult people in your household, especially those who find you even more difficult.  I hope that’s been going well, but remember it does take practice. Today I’m going to give some examples of things we say when we mean to be helpful but which never seem to make things better.  I’m going to offer some alternatives. Sentences that start: Why don’t you … If only you would … All I ask is that … ...  hardly [...]

2020-05-06T13:59:02+01:006 May 2020|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, needs, nonviolent communication, solutions|Comments Off on How to talk to difficult people No 3
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Active Listening in Difficult Times

If you've volunteered to be a listener through the NHS Scheme or locally through a Mutual Aid group, this video should might help you collect some tips up your sleeve for the more challenging calls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=006KdNQrKog              

2020-03-31T14:15:17+01:0031 March 2020|active listening, being alone, coaching, dispute resolution, loneliness, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, self-isolation, Uncategorised|Comments Off on Active Listening in Difficult Times
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How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2

Continuing in my series on how to talk to difficult people, especially those who insist you are the difficult one: In the previous post I talked about the benefits of asking the difficult person how they’re feeling and the importance of listening to the answer; how to check and demonstrate you’ve understood them, and if you haven’t, to listen again until they know they’ve really been heard. All this time, though, you haven’t had a look in. Now it’s your turn. You can’t wait to launch in with your much [...]

2020-03-30T09:14:27+01:0030 March 2020|change, coaching skills, dispute resolution, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, solutions, Uncategorised|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2
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How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:

Loads of us are finding ourselves stuck indoors with difficult people who are (most unreasonably) accusing us of being the difficult one.  This could go on for a long time, so over the next week or two I'm going to blog on ways to turn arguments into constructive communication and the difficult person into someone you can manage and even enjoy to be locked down with for as long as this process takes. Step one: asking how someone is feeling and listening to the answer: 1     Before you get [...]

2020-03-26T10:26:06+00:0026 March 2020|Apology, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, self compassion, solutions|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:
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A divorce is for life, not just for Christmas

I read in last Saturday’s Guardian that thirteen people filed for Divorce on Christmas Day. Christmas Day can be tough for a lot of people, but that’s a hell of a way to spend the afternoon. It’s my theory that these divorce petitions had little to do with wanting to end a marriage. They are more about hitting out from a place of pain; hurting someone who’s hurt you. And pretty effective, if that’s what you’re trying to do. That need to wound someone who’s hurt you – it’s an [...]

2019-01-10T12:59:25+00:009 January 2019|coaching, dispute resolution, divorce, nonviolent communication, Uncategorised|Comments Off on A divorce is for life, not just for Christmas
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No such thing as a bully

Bullies have been on my mind lately.  A few weeks ago we had the headline in the Guardian about a ‘bullying culture’ in universities.  I work in this sector, so the story was both interesting and familiar and prompted me to a direct marketing campaign – I can help employers with this kind of problem. Next I conducted a mediation where both parties were complaining about being bullied by the other.  This isn’t as unusual as it sounds.  My job (successful in this case) was to help each party hear [...]

2018-11-14T15:40:07+00:003 October 2018|Byron Katie, coaching, dispute resolution, humiliation, mistake, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, Uncategorised|Comments Off on No such thing as a bully
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