Trying + failure = success

I have recently moved to Brighton and while it's a novelty I've been taking my cup of tea (and occasionally my swimming stuff) to the beach, yes occasionally to swim, but mostly to watch the waves.  Okay - to watch people. A guy rocked up at the beginning of last week with a windsurf board on wheels.  He unhooked it, dragged it down to the water’s edge and went back for the sail. He climbed into his wetsuit and adjusted the braces.  He fixed the sail to the board and [...]

2019-09-25T10:46:41+01:0025 September 2019|coaching, defeat, defeat, goal, Hope, humiliation, optimism|0 Comments

Why I find it so hard to give money to homeless people

It’s not because they don’t need it, or because giving small bits of cash doesn’t deal with the problem of poverty.  It’s not because I worry it will be spent on drugs or alcohol.  It’s not because I believe the state should be tackling the problem through taxation (which of course it should).  None of these. It’s something much more basic. I find it physically hard to pause, get out my purse, find a couple of quid and put it in the paper cup. So much so that it’s not [...]

2018-11-27T18:22:21+01:0027 November 2018|charity, connection, homelessness, Hope, humiliation|0 Comments

No such thing as a bully

Bullies have been on my mind lately.  A few weeks ago we had the headline in the Guardian about a ‘bullying culture’ in universities.  I work in this sector, so the story was both interesting and familiar and prompted me to a direct marketing campaign – I can help employers with this kind of problem. Next I conducted a mediation where both parties were complaining about being bullied by the other.  This isn’t as unusual as it sounds.  My job (successful in this case) was to help each party hear [...]

Why’s that boy wearing my jacket?

I heard a programme on the Radio 4 recently about humiliation.  It told the story of a boy who grew up poor.  His mum had found a fabulous jacket in a jumble sale, which the boy adored.  All his friends wanted to know where he'd got it, so he'd made up a story about a rich uncle in the States.  Then one day, fetching a ball from neighbouring flats, a kid shouted out why's that boy wearing my jacket?  The kid's mother yelled back that she'd donated it to a [...]

2018-09-25T10:43:52+01:0025 September 2018|coaching, Ego, humiliation, mistake, misunderstanding|0 Comments