K is for King

I could have done something about how flexible we are, getting used to King Charles after Queen Elizabeth, calling top barristers KCs not QCs, referring to a Queen consort not Prince Phillip, getting our heads round who's got what in terms of dukedoms and principalities, new Edinburghs, new Waleses. But I’m not. I’m tired today (I did the night shift at Samaritans so my reserve is low). I’m just going to say what a load of absolute bs the whole royalty thing is. The pomp and nonsense of a coronation, [...]

2023-03-24T11:20:17+00:0024 March 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, change, coaching, Compassionate Inquiry, coronation, king|Comments Off on K is for King

Not drowning but braving

I woke up last Sunday, a mild dose of anxiety making me feel slightly sick – the struggle of lockdown, the crisis in the world and not knowing when it will end.  A dip in the sea, that would do the trick. The high tide was going out.  The water was murky and turbulent; swimmable but with a definite edge and a lot less peaceful than the flat water we enjoyed at the beginning of the month. Normally, I get changed quickly once I’m on the beach, get in, get [...]

2021-01-28T14:04:37+00:0028 January 2021|anticipation, brighton, change, choice, coaching, coaching skills, decisions, fear, Hope, sea swimming, self compassion, winter swimming|Comments Off on Not drowning but braving

Now we are [nearly] six[ty]

I am sixty at the end of this month.  I know lots of people are sixty and some are even older, but it's still ... a bit of a thing. I can’t have a party, which serves me right because I’ve always made a huge fuss about having to have one.  I was going to have a few people round the weekend before; I intended to spend the actual day with my family and I’d planned a holiday with a friend just after.  A perfect triad of low-key celebration, all [...]

2021-01-21T14:58:26+00:0021 January 2021|anticipation, being alone, brighton, change, coaching, coaching skills, connection, Hope, meaning making, moving, optimism, social isolation|Comments Off on Now we are [nearly] six[ty]

Twelve things to love about lockdown and four to hate (maybe five):

1.The weather. It has to be connected, right? 2.  How the front at Brighton smells like the sea. I’ve never noticed that before. On the same note, I cycled past a field of sheep yesterday and I could smell the wool. Maybe fields of sheep always smell of wool and I don’t notice. Either way it’s a plus; 3.  Cycling. I’ve not been up to Devil’s Dyke before because there are so many cars. Without cars, it's a great ride; 4.  Afterwards, and how none of us know what that [...]

2020-04-25T07:47:36+01:0025 April 2020|being alone, brighton, business, change, charity, coaching, connection, coronavirus, Hope, kindness, lockdown, loneliness, loss, renewal, self-isolation, social isolation|Comments Off on Twelve things to love about lockdown and four to hate (maybe five):

How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2

Continuing in my series on how to talk to difficult people, especially those who insist you are the difficult one: In the previous post I talked about the benefits of asking the difficult person how they’re feeling and the importance of listening to the answer; how to check and demonstrate you’ve understood them, and if you haven’t, to listen again until they know they’ve really been heard. All this time, though, you haven’t had a look in. Now it’s your turn. You can’t wait to launch in with your much [...]

2020-03-30T09:14:27+01:0030 March 2020|change, coaching skills, dispute resolution, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, solutions, Uncategorised|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2

Who Loves a Lockdown?

  When I was a kid I wanted to be a long distance lorry driver. I hadn’t thought about motorways or transport cafés, fatigue, the health impact of sitting down for ages, deadlines, queues at borders etc.  My  fantasy was about being all by myself, in a snug little cabin, all day.  I’m reminded of it now. I have been noticing how friends and clients have been responding to this voluntary lockdown.  Some seem to be glowing with it, secretly (or openly) relishing the prohibition on crowds, travel, social contact.  [...]

Clearing the Pebbles

It's wet and windy all over the country and no less so than down here in Brighton. The sea chucks pebbles onto the promenade and the council (presumably) sends a guy down with a digger to push them back onto the beach. The sea chucks them back again in the next storm and out the digger comes again.  In some ways it seems like a bit of a waste of resources, especially bearing in mind the forecast. There is a lot of work that is like this: cleaning the house, [...]

2020-02-27T09:45:19+00:0027 February 2020|brighton, change, coaching, kindness, listening, meaning making, personal development, renewal, self compassion|Comments Off on Clearing the Pebbles

Let’s Dance

I did my accounts yesterday.  It's a job made not only bearable but actually enjoyable by the addition of Spotify. I shuffled through a playlist called Classic Covers. Halfway into November’s expenses I found myself listening to something I couldn't at first place - deeply familiar and at the same time completely new. It took me a moment to recognise a ponderous version of Let's Dance, a slow voice accompanied by an acoustic guitar, a hesitant harmonica between verses. The tempo was different and the rhythm was new too. I [...]

2020-02-20T14:30:56+00:0020 February 2020|Bowie, change, coaching, coaching skills, dispute resolution, Let's Dance, listening, Mediation, self compassion|Comments Off on Let’s Dance

The joy of stating the obvious

One of the things I love about this time of year (aside from having got Christmas and my birthday out the way) is how the evenings get noticeably lighter as do the mornings. What a boring thing to say, I hear you mutter.  Obvious, dull, doh.  It is, and that’s the thing. I must have found myself in at least five conversations already this year about lighter mornings and longer evenings (none, I hasten to add, started by me).  Which leads me to observe that even though we know it’s [...]

2020-02-04T14:46:23+00:004 February 2020|brighton, change, coaching, dawn, Hope, meaning making, meaningfulness, optimism|Comments Off on The joy of stating the obvious

You are a chest of drawers, handle yourself with care.

I’ve moved house (I might have said that before).  Three small words, one massive upheaval.  Replete with metaphors. I have an old chest of drawers, made of mahogany.  I bought it from Austen’s of Peckham which in the mid 80's was the best secondhand  furniture shop in the world.  It was arranged in layers, the higher you went up the more exotic and expensive the goods.  The top floor could have been a museum.  I used to shop on the ground floor, rummaging in the ordinary and cheap.  I picked [...]

2019-11-27T12:08:47+00:0027 November 2019|change, coaching, moving, self compassion|Comments Off on You are a chest of drawers, handle yourself with care.
Go to Top